He told my fear to run, and like hell on wheels, that fear run back to its sender, the keeper of hell- Belial.
You might notice I call it my fear; well, it had held me prisoner for as long as I had lived, so yes, it had become a part of me.
Until one day, He spoke to me and told me to grow up and stop being a little child without knowledge of her origin.
He told me, ‘When I molded you, I placed many treasures within you, but fear was not one of them. It did not come from me, and because of that, it is an anomaly. I have given you courage, soundness of mind, and vision like mine.’
He told me ‘Remember whose you are. Remember who you came from. Look at me, and see who you are.’
And just like that, I felt a stirring within my soul, a yearning for freedom. I felt the raging clouds within me take a hike. Like the turning from one page to another, I felt the whisper of freedom and He guided my soul’s hands to grasp it.
Now here I am, fear free, and in the still waters, I have found a home.
I heard their voices singing sotto voce ‘At Your feet, is the highest place of worship’ and I wondered how that could be.
Then I remembered a school history lesson about a weeping woman with a broken jar. She wiped a man named El Elyon’s feet with her hair, with tears streaming down her face, a face that appeared raptured in absolute ecstasy. And I thought, they must know something I don’t.
And then they sung, ‘We humbly bow, yet boldly enter in’. And I thought, ‘what a contradiction! Surely boldness and being bowed low can’t both be contained in the same sentence.’
Their song continued with the words ‘Undeserved, yet welcome at Your table’ and I thought ‘This song is a paradox’, but they just kept singing, a song of One.
And the rhetorical questions too kept piling up. Because if someone is deemed unfit for one’s company, then the door must not even be opened to them, right? But in this man’s house, the more unfit one was deemed, the wider His door was opened.
And then I heard this woman belting out this song to an audience of thousands upon thousands ‘In this house, yet all alone with You’
So I turned to look around me, wondering if anybody else thought this weird. Clearly she was with us, so how could she claim to be alone with somebody we could not see?
And then she sang ‘I yell free, yet held within Your chamber’.
At this point I wondered if she was a prisoner of some sort fighting for her freedom and unable to escape.
But another historical writer, a King no less, wrote about a kind of love that ravishes the heart, takes over and makes one sick with desperate longing and desire.
So when she sang ‘Only in Your presence, only’, I finally understood what the Angels had been singing about.
So I decided to join in this indescribable expression called worship and my song went something like this ‘The time for love has long been here, so love me; and since Your glory wants to come here, let it fall, I want all that You want to give to me’
‘Yes, I am unraveling: but to what end?’ Why I ask the lover of my soul this question as I drift off to sleep is a story for another day.Truth is, I don’t have an answer yet, for He’s not finished with me yet.To become a child again once new life has been given you is filled with falls as you learn to walk, talk, and recognize Kingdom relationships through Anna Father’s eyes.So I have been unraveling for awhile now and can’t wait for the outcome.I know, in His hands, I will come forth as gold, for He knows all that concerns me.Job 23:10-11
Lather it sumptuously with honey,
slice into little pieces,
and add even more honey
light a furnace under it
Become God’s praise on the earth.
Be as He is
Dwell on His mind in you
Gaze on that glorious wonderful beautiful face
And endless springs of praise will overflow
You will find your heart has become heaven itself
What- who have I but you?You have every heartbeat, every blink of my eyesevery motion, every impulseWhere would I go but to you?my homecoming, my homerunI don’t have words enough to describe Love like You, love like Yours
Psalm 23:5-6 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.…
I looked about me
at the walls enclosing.
My eyes scaled their height and width,
for the overgrowth held my feet trapped
And I wondered about my saving.
I wondered “Does anybody hear me?”
“Does anybody see?”
And there You where
“I have loved you with an everlasting love and wherever you are, I am too”
Here I now stand safe and secure for Your grace holds me now.