Right from the start, you have it all figured out. The passion, the anticipation, but most of all, the great sex. Somehow you are sure beyond a reasonable doubt that it has to end, that is just the way it has to be. Whatsoever has a beginning, has got to have an end, but then knowing you believe the bible, why don’t you believe in till death do us part, or maybe you have rationalized that too, saying to yourself, if I can tolerate you for the rest of our lives, then we can make it.
So you stop trying to be understanding, caring, thoughtful, you forget to do the little things that brought you together in the first place, you cease to try, and instead take it for granted saying after all since we are stuck with each other, the legalities can remain, but our hearts and efforts can be stored in a box at work, in an affair with a mistress or mister, or in the countless friends that come and go. So help me understand. Why do we fight so hard for what is fleeting, but take forever for granted by trivializing it?
I am thinking right from the start, we are in a hurry, to get to the end without even starting. You meet a woman, and the only thing on your mind is the sex, so getting to know what makes her tick is not a priority, and once the first huddle, which is getting cozy with her, the rest seems insignificant. So now that you’re together, there’s no conversation, no communication, all you do ismake demands of each other, because you don’t know how to talk to each other, and by now, the children are there, and being conservatives, you need for you children to have a home, so you stay for them, but then why don’t you sit in silence and stare deep inside each other and dredge up whatever brought you together in the first place, and maybe struggle to stay for each other? It is only human to make mistakes after all.
I t is incredible that sometimes we give up on what we want most when we should be fighting to keep it. Sadly, sometimes we don’t even know it is what we want, so we let the pride, ego, hurt and desperation crowd the little lamp deep inside crying for release, or the roses blossoming in our hearts, to be suffocated by the weeds, and we walk away.
So I wonder, who are we fooling? Personally, every time I want something so bad, or care too much, my first instinct is to run away, because somehow I am tired of the vulnerability of needing someone’s presence in my life, so you see, usually we think it is easier to run away, but believe me, it is easier to stay, but then again, we need to do things right from the beginning.
Friendship is very important, so while you are eager to win someone over, first find out if you can be together without the sex, if you will still want them without that, if you can talk about what really matters to you, and if you care about them enough top put them first. If they inspire you to take on the world for them, and if even out of bed, the thought of them brightens up your day, then maybe you stand a chance at forever.
Then they won’t spend half their lives wondering if you still see them, or if in their absence you are filling the void with somebody else’s presence.
Someone who you will anticipate to get back to, who will want to give you the best of them, give you all they are without feeling that it is a sacrifice, but a need, and a desire.
I am a woman, and you are a man, so if we cannot be alone, then we should move heaven and earth to be together and make heaven for us, but that wwe can only do, if we put Jesus at the center of our loves and desires. Somehow when we draw closer to him, he will move all of heaven and earth, to give us his heaven.