Burrowed in what you hold most dear, so close to you, he lurks in the shadows. He’s got the most beguiling eyes, they seem to see right through to your soul, all knowing, and when you put a smile to his face, all your dreams come true.

For you he’s the embodiment of truest love, wealth and acceptance without judgement. After all, he’s got his own skeletons.

He will clothe you, shelter you love you in his own twisted way feed you, and even marry you if you interest him enough.

He comes bearing gifts always, because money he’s got plenty of that, and he will give you all you ask of him, for as long as is convenient, to mend the damage he brings. Bide his time, until he has you eating right out of the palm of his hand.

At the sight of him, your heart fills to bursting with gratitude, with the burgeoning love his gestures have exorcised.

Like slave to master, you are ensnared , chocking  with gratitude.

You cannot refuse him anything, for that would kill you. You love him way too  much and you cannot deny him anything.

 

So with all your defenses down, like a thief in the night, he rears his ugly head, and you embrace him, desperate to return all the favors he’s shown you, give him a piece of yourself, after all, he’s given you so much, so you want to give him a piece of yourself, anything to return the favor.

So tonight he wears vulnerability for a cloak, and like the serpent he is, he will have you desperate and eager to please in no time at all, moved beyond comprehension.

He tells you how much he loves you, oh how he needs you, and how he would die if you turned him away. He soothes your conscience by telling you he’s scared too and he knows this is new to you, but promises it will be worth it.

He preaches love at you, for in that moment he doesn’t see you.

Greed his fangs are bared, and all he can think of is how best to gobble you up.

He takes your tentative fingers and puts them on himself, as he closes his eyes in total ecstasy, while your conscience screams at you to wake up.

You snatch your hands away shocked and appalled. ‘This is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong.’  But by now he’s lost himself in the moment, in all the sensations touching you will bring. All he wants now is release, and by now, you are flat on your face, and being a man, this is a strange position, and tears from lovemaking are strange to you, but now you are crying in pain, helpless against the inevitable, the penetration. Being a man you are accustomed to penetrating, and not the other way round.

The experience is daunting, painful, shameful, and the guilt bigger than the black sea.  The invasion cuts so deep, you feel lost, violated and alone, and for the moment, hate your own balls.pictures

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