Olive Branches

"the depth of me"

Blurred Windshield


The rain-

it won’t let up-

the wipers, broken-

the tires-


rear-view mirror-


my hands are shaking-

do I get out of the car?

The car is me.


I cannot run from me.

When I cannot see, when I cannot feel, when the pain is real-

when right and wrong look the same-

when the dreams are a dark fast paced mist-

and the maze has me blindsided-



You are on my side.

You tell my fears to run-

your love surrounds me-

when my thoughts wage war-

You are on my side.


‘Take a seat’ He said


‘I am tired of waiting in the wings.’ That’s me wining again.

‘Take a seat.’ He says ‘Lay your head on my lap, and listen’

‘But I’ve had my ear bent to hear your voice this entire time. What new thing could you possibly say to me now?’

‘That you ask that question in itself should reveal to you where your ear has been- because it’s not been bent toward me.’ He says this with a rebuke on His face, but I can tell He’s not angry.

‘I have loved you eternally. There’s not a desire in your heart I cannot give. More than you, I want all your dreams to come to pass.’

‘Love? Are you joking? What kind of person saves a lamb only to cast it to wolves? You say you love me, but I don’t feel loved. I literally have to beg for love handouts from jaded individuals whose concept of love is either lust or exploitation.’

‘And what of you? Have you loved? Show me one person you have loved unconditionally?’ he asks

‘But I cannot give what I do not have.’ I grudgingly respond.

‘That is not true. For as long as you have me as your motive for everything you do and give, you have love.’

‘See the green around you?’

I look around me and see endless lush green fields, and falling leaves.

‘There’s my faithfulness.’ he runs his hands through my hair and tilts my face to his.

‘When will you stop running from me?’ ‘Why is it so hard for you to trust me?’

‘Hebrews 13:8 says that you never change.  I don’t understand you. I cannot predict you, I cannot manipulate you, and I cannot change you. I think you’re too strict. Too rigid for me.’

‘Change is not in my nature. Besides why would you want to change me?’ He asks

‘Change is farmiliar.’ I should be able to manipulate you- you know, hide a few things from you, move you with my tears. I need you unconditionally on my side.’

‘I am always on your side. And I am moved by your heart- a true heart full of faith.’

‘It doesn’t feel like you’re on my side most days. I mean, seriously- you hold the world in your hands, you can move and change anything you want at any time, but why am I crumbling under the weights of life. I feel like I am literally carrying everything alone- why why why?’ Now I am on my feet jumping up and down in anger.

He pats the empty seat next to him and beckons me to return to His side.

‘Peace be still. You’re my child, and you will always be, but I expect you to behave maturely.  Let wisdom be your best friend. And trust me.’ He says. ‘Keep your eyes on me. Your hand is securely held in mine. I am with you every step of the way. There’s nowhere you go that I have not been.’

Tears running down my face, I ask. ‘Why is life so hard, and empty and filled with misery?’

‘Keep your eyes on me.’

Staring into His eyes, I am comforted.

‘Come here.’

‘But I already am.’

‘Your heart has strayed again.’

‘I gave you imagination,’ he says ‘but my wisdom trumps that every time. Obey my voice. Forget what you think you know. Only my word gives life, direction, and clarity.’

‘I love you. You know that right?’  I ask

‘Of course.’

Dancing with God.



He says ‘I have loved you before the sands of time were made: I love you still. You are chosen as mine.’

We stand so far apart, as the music plays. I would rather not hear the music.

‘Your love is wasted on me. I’d not recognize it even if you turned it to liquid gold and threw it in my face.’ I respond.

Taking a trek down memory lane, I reflect on everyone who ever said they loved me.

Shaking my head vehemently, I tell him to go give his love to someone who deserves it. Deep down, I am afraid he will love me, and then walk away.

As though reading my mind he says ‘This love doesn’t run’

‘We’ll see won’t we?’ I respond.

He smiles and says come dance with me.

‘You will not take no for an answer?’ I wonder out loud.

‘Perfect love casts out all fear.’ He says.

‘I have already chosen you for mine, and to not love you is not possible for me’ he continues. ‘Anything you fear, any road you think too dangerous I have already walked. I have chained death itself, for you.’

‘Look at me. Keep your eyes on me.’ He implores.

‘Don’t see what I’ve done. I know that you see my heart. Look at everyone I have claimed to love. I am not even certain I have it in me to love.’

‘Dance with me.’ He says. ”Nothing else matters for as long as you live but this endless dance with me.’

And the song starts to play.

We Dance

Bethel Music


You steady me
Slow and sweet, we sway
Take the lead and I will follow

[Verse 2]
Finally ready now
To close my eyes and just believe
That You won’t lead me
Where You don’t go

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance
And we dance

[Verse 3]
And I’ve been told
To pick up my sword
And fight for love
Little did I know
That Love had won for me
Here in Your arms

[Verse 4]
You still my heart again
And I breathe You in
Like I’ve never breathed ’till now

When my faith gets tired
And my hope seems lost
You spin me round and round
And remind me of that song
The one You wrote for me
And we dance
Oh, we dance
Oh, when we dance with kiss
Oh, a dance just you and me
And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s ransomed me
The One who gave me joy for mourning
And I will lock eyes
With the One who’s chosen me
The One who set my feet to dancing?

Oh, I will lock eyes
With the One who’s ransomed me
The One who gave me joy for mourning
Oh, Why [?] the One who’s chosen me
The One who set my feet to dancing?

[Verse 5]
Oh, We dance..
Oh, We dance..
Oh, We dance, we dance..
Oh, We dance..
Just You and me
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms
It’s nice to know I’m not alone
I found my home here in Your arms


And the song never ends…………….

Between the Tides


Unlock my ears to hear your voice,

let me unravel at the brush of your breath on my neck,

as a furnace explodes in my chest,

my eyes eternally level with yours,

your eyes-the bright depth of a sunny sky.

Your voice has the power of thunder but the calming effect of an afternoon breeze

I want to hear all you say

my heart to the rhythm of your heartbeat,

but the tide rages and roars in my ears

my body alive and aflame to many passions and desires

they rip through me, and shred all logic.


I am now only an extension of the ebb and flow of the wind, sun, earth and sea,

I fight for what I cannot see,

I want what is denied me,

and reject what is offered me.


You say you’ve loved me since before the sands of time where made,

so I lounge on this beach and sift the sand through my fingers.

You say you love me still,

so I close my eyes and picture you, because I cannot see you

You say my worship is your fire,

so I lose myself in the melody of you


Am I truly chosen as yours?

It doesn’t feel that way,

but you say to live carnally is death

so how do I embrace and keep you,

and know that with every sensation, you are

that every rush of beauty, in taste, feel, sound, sight

is your love resounding



The Belonging



I am His belonging.

Because I am His belonging, He sets me securely on high ground and hems me in.

He honors me because I am His. He is committed to me as I am to Him.

I am deeply loved, cherished, and he delivers me from the arrows that fly in the day and the pestilence by night.

No evil or terror shall come near me. I know His name. The name above all names. He is my habitation.

No trouble will overwhelm me, because I am His. He goes before me, and after me, and every moment in between for I am the apple of His eye.

I will walk through fire and not be burned because He treasures me more than His own life.

Deserts flood with rivers because in Him is only life. In His eyes I am the lily of valleys and rose of Sharon.

Oceans part before me, at the whisper of His name. My heart yields and melts in His peace.

He adores the sound of my voice and endlessly nudges me to sing to His heartbeat. His Chambers are forever open to me. His love tastes better than ageless wine. He is the sun shining on me, and the whisper of the wind all around and inside me.

I am the sweet perfume He so loves to fill His atmosphere and His courts. He is my adornment. He says my eyes are two doves.

His banner over me is love, and His fruit is sweet to my taste.

His left hand is under my head, and His right hand embraces me. He says my lips drip nectar- honey and milk are under my tongue. In me He finds no fault. I am drunk on love. My heart remains awake, even when I am asleep.

Now the day breathes, and the shadows flee. I am His, He is mine.

Love’s True Face


All was lost

The markings on my grave certain

the world was returned to dust

hope was salty cold ash on parched lips

light was turned to a scarlet darkness

And then you crashed over me and  into me

Taught my feet to dance again

Love looks good on you

Keep your eyes on the God in me


I love you. At least I think I do.

These doubts you have. They are many. Would that I could paint you a perfect expanse, a perfect universe! You want perfection. When I say no one is perfect, you say, you don’t want perfection- but you do.

Your heart often says more than your lips.

I can feel the panic leaping through layers of skin, experience, scars, insecurity, and the uncertainty of all that you cannot predict or prevent.

I would ask that you forget. Close the curtain on all past hurts and wrongs, and tell you that the God in me is enough for both of us.

But I am not sure you’d understand. It’s no simple matter.

So my heart aches for the little boy inside you who worries that the world is worse than it appears.

I weep for the person you could be if you trusted a little more; trusted that God does not simply keep a bird’s eye view on you, but is a part of your DNA, and has placed such greatness in you.

I pray for the day you will smile with neither shadows in your heart nor your eyes.

Let God be your best friend.

I pray God will be the only footprint you leave wherever you set foot.

And that the true unconditional love you’re afraid to hope for is exactly what steals your heart and keeps it.

Yours is a heart that cares deeply,

yours is a heart that hits like a fist I can’t come back from.

But I pray more than all things that you come to see that the kind of love you seek, Christ has already given you, and that is you opened your incredible eyes a tad wider, and your mind a lot more, and had faith as that of a mustard seed, clarity would be yours for the taking.

So, when you see me, when you desire me, when you dream of me, and when you worry that perchance our differences are too great, see the God in me, and realize that nothing separates us at all.

That all you feel we ought to know about each other is written on our heavenly Father’s heart.

To be honest


My heart has not known a moment of peace

the air around me is unsettled

constantly shimmering with your essence

I get on my knees

unsure whether to pray that this be taken away

or that it be given form


I worry that if I am honest

I lose

that if I accept the possibility of this

I am setting myself up for another mouthful of heartache


And no I don’t know how to be;

in the heart of the music,

in my minds eye,

I am dancing in circles, happy, free:


the drumbeats however

are a constant reminder of past hoof-beats

and the wind carries a different song of endless possibilities

meanwhile inside my heart

the flame that once glowed, flares, full blown

the scarlets and blues cloud my never clear vision


The confusion is as a cup of twisted ribbons of rainbows

some sing of hope, some sing of confusion

but at the heart of it all is you

and the fact

I can’t stop thinking about you


Love Lifted me

IMG-20160718-WA0014 (2)

On the wings of a sapphire dove

left wing dusted with silver,

right wing dusted with gold

Love lifted me

in the heart of four winds

His throne


the train of his robe billows around me

drawing me in

His face has the appearance of jasper and carnelian,

his eyes are twin flames of fire

and around his throne

a rainbow with the appearance of an emerald


Even with eyes closed

his love like liquid gold

I feel, I taste,

seeping into my skin

my veins a vibration to music

he’s written on my heart

in swirls of colors blue, purple, snow white, yellow, red, green


God. Love.


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